Happy Birthday to me... I hope!

This Sunday I will turn 35. I've been dreading this almost all year. For some reason, 35 just seems like a milestone. I wanted to be married with children by the time I turned 35...

That was probably how I felt the first few months of this year. I absolutely dreaded this day. But somehow I've turned it around and actually started getting excited for this birthday. I've got great friends, who got me a beautiful wind chime and birthday cake for me at work. My fiance will also be with me this weekend. And we will have dinner with my family on Sunday. I still have plenty of time to have kids... Right?

Still, this weekend holds a certain bittersweetness for me. I'm pretty much over worrying about getting old. I'm excited for a fun weekend. But this also marks the end of Pete's time in Pittsburgh. While his job has always been based in California, his project has sent him to Pittsburgh to work with one of their vendors, for pretty much all of the past year. And now that's ending and he's starting a new job, that will keep him in California. And while there is the excitement of change and new things to come, he will not be just 80 miles away. It's the strangest thing because we don't see each other everyday. Sometimes we don't even see each other every weekend. And while it may only be a week or two until I see him again after this weekend, I definitely feel the distance when he's not near.

So Monday morning when I leave for work, he will head back to Pittsburgh to take care of getting his new/used Audi shipped to CA and he will get on a plane that will take him almost 3000 miles away. We will probably talk 2 or 3 times that day. But I will still miss him so much.

It's the uncertainty that gets to me. I mean I know that this is just 'see ya later'. There's nothing permanent about our mini-separation here. But it's always easier for me to see him leave when I know when we'll be together again. This time I don't know that for sure. Seems like even if it's 2 months down the road, if I know what day I will see him again I can 'rev up' for the separation. And honestly, I know this time won't be too bad. With everything we've both got to do to prepare for my move, the time will fly by. But for right now, I'm a little bit sad.

So, now, I'm going to work hard the rest of the day and put on my happy face. I will have a good day and I'll go home and busy myself with cleaning house some, as I always do before Pete comes down from Pittsburgh. I'm going to go get my hair cut and highlighted tomorrow, which always brightens me up. And we are going to have a wonderful weekend together. Best of all, we'll figure out a moving date for me and that will help.

I doubt I'll get to update my blog over the weekend or maybe even on Monday. But I've definitely had fun with background designs and looking for pictures to post as well. I'll take some fun pictures over the weekend so I can share them next week. Allison, I promise I will post a picture of my engagement ring :).

Take care my friends and say a little prayer for me that I can keep my happy face on and cheery instead of melting into tears at any point this weekend.